No Thanks, I’m Sweet Enough
Fruited Coffee Sour
Range Brewing
The sun did not shine.
It was too wet to play.
So we sat in the house
All that cold, cold wet day.
I sat there with Martha.
We sat there, we two.
And I said “I know,
I’ll crack us a brew!”
I hemmed and I hawed,
Much fro-ing and to-ing.
And at last picked a can
From Brisbane’s Range Brewing.
On paper it’s perfect.
Soured beer, fruit, and coffee!
The best things in life
If you’d got the list off me!
The pimplemousse hue
Leaves me feeling delighted.
The thought of these flavours
Has me quite excited.
It pours like pink grapefruit,
Though sometimes looks coral-y.
And once it has settled
I administer orally.
It’s aroma is coffee.
And though not mush else;
Some feeble wee fruit notes
Give their subtle smells.
With nothing left for it
The time came to sip!
To unzip my lip
And let the beer tip!
The first taste is coffee.
The second as well.
The last one is too.
The same as the smell!
A hot day might suit it
If you drink it quite fast.
But when you sip slowly
It’s hard to look past
How the joe mutes it all –
The lovely, light sour.
Raspberry and cherry
Dont have any power.
Like a shot of espresso
Dropped from a height
In raspberry lemonade
It’s just not quite right.
Though cold brewed, the coffee
Was just far too strong.
And the resulting beer
Just tastes somehow…wrong.
The sheer roastiness
Just doesnt quite fit.
The flavours just don’t
Co
he
re
nt
ly sit.
That roast adds some smoke
To a crisp and sour beer
That feels quite unwelcome –
You’re not welcome here!
Bright fruit might suit
The one or the other.
Cold-brew or beer
But here it gets smothered.
It seems like it might
Be lovely alone.
The sour of the beer,
And the fruit on its throne.
But the guest they invited
Just started to stink.
The base brew’s delicious
Just imbalanced – I think.
It might even be cracking –
A tangy light sour.
All light and fruity
Not grainy or dour.
The crisp, subtle wheat sour
The delicate fruiting;
But in barges coffee
Like truffle pigs rooting.
So the flavours that mingle
And start to get flirty,
Lose their unique strengths
And end up tasting dirty.
It’s like there are three points
And two can be friends.
But all three together
Is where that all ends.
The fruit in the cold brew
‘Delightful!’ I say.
And the fruit in the sour beer
<chef kiss> Cheers! Sante!
And coffee in beer
Can be quite a treat.
But all three together…
Well, I start to repeat.
And this is surprising
For Range is quite great.
The rest of their beers
I really do rate.
And though I’m not praising
It’s not all that bad.
It’s quite a refresher,
The more that you’ve had.
For though it is one-note
(In flavour and scent)
It goes down quite easy
At 5.4%
So if you like your coffee
Like I like my tea
Then this brew is for you
But alas, not for me
Exit Pursued by a Beer 