The Malty Falcon

Cherrywood Smoked Rye Baltic Porter Dainton Brewery The can was pretty, and it knew it, too. Royal metallic blue on matte royal blue, the colour of her eyes, all covered in a tessellating pattern of crosses. Double crosses. This beer was gonna be rich, I thought. And it was. I knew this one would beContinue reading “The Malty Falcon”

How the 4 Pines Got its Pavlova – a Just So Story

Keller Door Nitro Pavlova Ale 4 Pines Once upon a time, O Best Beloved, there was a rather plain beer. It tasted as beers usually do – it was cold and gold, it had hops in drops, some fizz in his biz and was malty, but faulty.                 One day it looked about it atContinue reading “How the 4 Pines Got its Pavlova – a Just So Story”

On A Tale of Two Tinnies

A Note From his Editor to Mr Charles Dickens, Esq. Mr Dickens, Thank you for your submission to our serial. Please find enclosed a brief critique of the first line (!) of your new work. Please note that this has inspired us to rethink our policy of paying our contributors by the word. Brevity, theyContinue reading “On A Tale of Two Tinnies”

Beer and Loathing

Solitary Bliss West Coast IIPA The Mill Brewery We were somewhere around Brunswick on the edge of the lockdown as the beers began to take hold. I remember saying something like “I feel a bit parched, maybe we should have a drink…” And suddenly, there was a terrible roar all around us as the windsContinue reading “Beer and Loathing”

Pride and Fresh J-Juice

NEIPA Hop Nation Brewery It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a man in possession of an empty glass, must be in want of another beer.                 “My dear Mr Bennet” said his lady to him one day “Have you tried the J-Juice since they had to rebrand it?”                 Mr Bennet replied that heContinue reading “Pride and Fresh J-Juice”

Written Drunk, Edited Sober

Pink Galah Pink Lemonade Sour Beer The Grifter Brewing Co. It was a spring day and the sun shone through the windows. It was warm on my back. I drank a beer. The beer was cold, and good. It was tart. It tasted bright, like lemon juice if you took all the sugar out ofContinue reading “Written Drunk, Edited Sober”